It started over a new special sweater. Our two eldest daughters were having a massive screaming match that devolved into a physical fight. Then our youngest managed to get herself in the middle —and that didn’t end well. And then, I lost it.
After a guilt-ridden school drop off, I made my way home wishing that the kids could get along better so that it’d be easier for me to stay centered. Their fighting is a monster roadblock, cutting me off from “my zen.”
I found that I forgot once again to do my practice off the mat. Their sibling bickering is not an obstruction to maintaining my center—in fact, their bickering, though painful, may just well be the golden opportunity to practice holding my center. I remembered this after all the dust had settled. And that’s the nature of the practice. We forget, and then we remember, and then we forget, and then we remember.
I have no doubt these amazing live-in gurus will go ballistic again at some point in the future. And when they do, it’ll be time to roll up the spiritual sleeves and re-focus on staying composed and calm. What the children need most is a centered and grounded parent. Its true that the only thing we really can control is our own attitude.
And when we forget this, cause that’ll happen, it becomes an important opportunity for us to give ourselves space to be human, and the chance to forgive ourselves and move on. We’ll have more occasions to remember again tomorrow.